urinal question

Joined: 18 Feb 2007 Posts: 1297 Location: realismland

i can do the fourth if i close my eyes and everyone is being very quiet so i can imagine they are not there.

Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 4:35 pm

#3 leads to #4 easily.

Joined: 14 Aug 2008 Posts: 1786 Location: The fine land

4/4 wooo

Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 4:49 pm

Justin: I thought that had been established?

I'm pretty much in the same position as Dezro: I can shuffle ok, but nothing fancy; similarly, I can play pool, but I'm mediocre. I don't drink. I can pee in a trough, but I can remember the last time I had to do that; there might be a small amount of 'shy bladder hesitation' I'd need to overcome.

Whimsy Overcomes Him Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 8612

Boorishly P. Foundry wrote:

Kind of curious if guys who picked #1 and #2 would still do that ridiculous procedure when peeing on a tree, or if (as I suspect) they are the kind of guys who would have some kind of problem with outdoor urination.

I picked 2 (I can only hope everyone who picked 1 was joking) and I do the same thing when peeing outside yes. I really don't understand the idea that it's some kind of super complicated procedure. Undoing just the front of the belt takes barely any time, undoing the button takes even less, and it's way easier than reaching all in there and messing around with the underwear fly or whatever. I've experimented with just undoing the top button and zipper and leaving the belt alone, but that's weird and really doesn't work very well.

Whimsy Overcomes Him Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 8612

Oh and I can do all four of those things.

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:54 pm

Boorishly could you outline some less demanding criteria for manhood please?

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:55 pm

Being a man isn't about making compromises

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:59 pm

Being a man is 50% about manual dexterity and 50% about doing unpleasant things because everybody else expects you to.

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 2:06 pm

revfitz wrote:

Boorishly P. Foundry wrote:

Kind of curious if guys who picked #1 and #2 would still do that ridiculous procedure when peeing on a tree, or if (as I suspect) they are the kind of guys who would have some kind of problem with outdoor urination.

I picked 2 (I can only hope everyone who picked 1 was joking) and I do the same thing when peeing outside yes. I really don't understand the idea that it's some kind of super complicated procedure. Undoing just the front of the belt takes barely any time, undoing the button takes even less, and it's way easier than reaching all in there and messing around with the underwear fly or whatever. I've experimented with just undoing the top button and zipper and leaving the belt alone, but that's weird and really doesn't work very well.

This is just so insane.

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 2:43 pm

Boorishly P. Foundry wrote:

Being a man is 50% about manual dexterity and 50% about doing unpleasant things because everybody else expects you to.

"Sticking your hands in dirty places"

Joined: 18 Sep 2008 Posts: 8353

killing roaches/spiders/mice falls under both

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 2:50 pm

So does cleaning out the shower drain.

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 2:50 pm

I'm curious what Boorishly's corresponding definition for Being a Woman is.

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:02 pm

I don't really do any deep thinking about what it means to be a woman. But based on fairly extensive reading of modernist women writers I would say that it is 25% riding omnibuses through Edwardian London, 25% buying new gloves, and 50% having an unseen inner life fueled by bitterness, self-doubt, and secret longing.

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:41 pm

Modernist shouldn't add up to 100%, it should add up to some irrational number that just keeps inverting itself until the end of time.

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:52 pm

I don't know how to do that with math, but I will say that Gertrude Stein novels add up to about 45% on a good day.

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 7:28 pm

trainwreck wrote:

Boorishly P. Foundry wrote:

Things a man should be able to do without hesitating:
-- Shuffle a deck of cards
-- Shoot a pool cue straight
-- Drink a crappy domestic beer
-- Pee at a trough at the stadium

I can do the first three, but on account of me being a pervert I try to not do the fourth because I'll just embarrass myself and get beat up for being queer

Man, why would you say that? Way to set my comfort with peeing in public back a decade.

BTW, Boorishly, I would have been 3/4 on there if I hadn't just regained my childhood fear of dudes evaluating my super soaker 500.

Other than that, I just don't really drink and am not going to start for crappy domestic beer.

Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:08 pm

Salazar wrote:

boxer briefs are best

Joined: 19 Jul 2005 Posts: 5828 Location: Los Angeles, CA

I'm 4/4 even though I'm not terribly great at pool and will only do #3 with some mild complaining. However I will ask: Where did the whole peeing-on-a-tree thing start? It's so much easier to just whiz on the ground where you can be assured you won't get any splashback. I guess you want to make sure you're well hidden from at least one angle, but wide stance + flat ground ftw.

Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:50 am

Dogs do it?

Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 3

If dogs do it, it must be right. Personally, I haven't managed to lick my own testicles yet but it's getting there.

Also, I think if you pee on a tree or something it helps to block any wind that might be blowing in your direction, saving you the trouble of standing their with a weather vane to calculate wind speed and direction beforehand.

Oh and those lawsuits people in the park like to hand out.

Joined: 30 Oct 2007 Posts: 3361

Westacular wrote:

Dogs do it?

bees do it

even educated fleas do it

Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 9:57 am

Peeing on a tree makes you less susceptible to candiru attacks

Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:25 am

I guess the tree provides a modicum of modesty. Also the ground is usually pretty clear and flat near trees? These are just theories. I've never thought about this before. Anyway I usually aim for a spot a little ways away from the base of the tree because of the splashback issue.

Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:26 am

Oh and unlike fences, trees are rarely or never electrified.

Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 1503 Location: old london towne

I unbuckle, undo the top few buttons, and pull down the boxers. I have no zip so just whipping it out the front is not an option, but from my recollection of zippered longpants, I feel I must agree with sam's assessment that it's just too dangerous/constrictive to be a viable option.

also solid 4/4 man up in heya

Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:44 pm

Fausty

Do you only have one pair of pants?

It's alright, we won't judge. (Much.)

Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:50 pm

justinpie wrote:

Peeing on a tree makes you less susceptible to candiru attacks

AHHHH YOU JUST REMINDED ME OF CANDIRU ATTACKS

Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 2:09 pm

They should make a horror movie where some crazy villain is putting candirus in urinals all around the city.