Ask the ladies...

Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 9989 Location: Personal Space

emkay, I'm sure if I ever figure that out I will let you know

Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 8693

emkay this is a decision that only you can make. You must look deep inside yourself and figure-out what you want out of a relationship - if it's just cheap thrills, then they're available a-plenty, but if you want long-term stability with a great person who genuinely cares for you then that takes effort and commitment. There's also the problem that, as you've noted, if you go for the cheap thrills you may never find yourself anyone as good as the guy you've got, while if you keep this guy you may find yourself wasting your one shot at glitz and excitement.

Obviously people are going to be less exciting over time, but this carries its own rewards in the same way that watching a mind-hug of a film may not be as cool the second time around, but its generally a more satisfying viewing experience.

So, the best bet might be to stick the relationship out but make a lot of efforts to get things more interesting. There's the cliche about "opening a dialogue" but it gets brought-up a lot because it's a good point. If you outline what you want out of a relationship and he outlines what he wants, and you guys can't make it work, then leave him and start anew.

At this point I'm sure I've said nothing you haven't thought of already, and would suggest that, deep in your heart, you already know what you want to do but are too insecure to commit yourself and are instead trying to get an emotional booster pack from the internet.

Honestly though maybe you should just dump him, sleep around, and then marry an emotionally insecure doormat when bloom's begun to fade.

Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 8693

As a caveat I should note that everything I know about relationships was learned from watching Heartbreak High.

Joined: 13 May 2007 Posts: 1285 Location: in transit

the word on the street is that excitement comes and goes. if it is excitement you are looking for you need to be the one to make your life better, like by cultivating a new interest in say extreme origami or something.

if what you are saying by 'not exciting' and 'emotionally taxing' is that this relationship makes you unhappy more often than it makes you happy, by all means get out.

Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 3:52 pm

You could always have an affair.

Joined: 02 Nov 2007 Posts: 684 Location: EASTERN BLOC

Guys I am completely smitten.

By my childhood best friend who lives over the ocean and I haven't seen in 12 years.

I am seeing her infact in 7 days now

D: don't even know how to approach this I am in such a good mood I am obnoxiously happy.

I have never been smitten halp

Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 2:26 pm

Build up your expectations so high that the only possible outcome is heart break! T-Rex - OMG!

Joined: 02 Nov 2007 Posts: 684 Location: EASTERN BLOC

Armchair Revolution wrote:

i found her itunes account
and ive never met another human being in person who has ever heard of belle and sebastian

Zach my sister

Listens to belle and sebastian

circa 4 years ago.

You're lucky her boyfriend right now is terrible get on that please

Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 2:30 pm

When you see her walk up to her and shout "CAN I STICK IT IN?!??!?"

Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 2:50 pm

Just out of curiosity is there usually a 50/50 success rate on that or what.

Joined: 02 Nov 2007 Posts: 684 Location: EASTERN BLOC

:3 i had a wonderful conversation with her, but nostalgia confuses me.

H8 nostalgia

love nostalgia

incredibly mixed emotions

emotions plz let's be friends Sad

Joined: 18 Sep 2008 Posts: 8353

I know you haven't seen her in 4 years, but is that really long enough to feel nostalgic about your sister?

Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 12:00 am

guys I went to what is probably the most amazing party ever tonight. totally stag (v. scary experience first time) but I met a girl that was going stag! and she's really cool! and writes for a burlesque magazine! (doesn't drink Sad

). Gonna take her out for dinner I am very excited we had lots of excellent dancing.

I'm excited guys! Also this party was just. Amazing. It had an old-school jazz band, burlesque, cabaret, tap-dancers, a hat fashion show. OMG. Man.

Joined: 12 Mar 2005 Posts: 4639 Location: DC

kendall see if she will take you out to see ladies get nekkid my girlfriend takes me to those things all the time (actually wrote her master's thesis on burlesque) and afaict the not drinking thing is actually a plus

Joined: 04 Feb 2009 Posts: 124

Dear Ladies (and Gents),
What's up with this? My friend and I both have this very similar situation going on. So, a couple days ago, I went to dinner and saw a movie with this girl, and we had a nice time, everything was okay and she was pretty nice to me. But then yesterday we go to the beach with a group of people and a little party after wards (about 10 people) and she's kinda snotty to me. For example, after I would say something sometimes she would say, rather abruptly, "shut up." (not cutting me off though) My friend says the same thing happens between him and this other girl. So, what's the deal? One-on-one she's really nice, but in a group she's kinda jerky.

¡Ayuda!

Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 10:28 am

she totally digs you! sometimes people are mean to each other in public when they like each other

Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 10:51 am

Roll Fish wrote:

she totally digs you! sometimes people are mean to each other in public when they like each other

KENDALL
the guy whose perfect girlfriend breaks up with him and he doesn't know why

Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 11:24 am

I was talking more about something like this

Joined: 04 Feb 2009 Posts: 124

Roll Fish wrote:

I was talking more about something like this

I, uh, don't get it. (I didn't watch hey arnold much at all)

Joined: 06 Mar 2007 Posts: 3599 Location: Physics Table #1.

Roll Fish wrote:

she totally digs you! sometimes people are mean to each other in public when they like each other

D:

Joined: 09 Oct 2005 Posts: 7953 Location: egg

kendall if you are really taking yourself seriously here then
holy crap

Joined: 04 Feb 2009 Posts: 124

Anyone got some legit feedback then?

Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 6:20 pm

I thought I had clarified myself with this but I guess you guys don't get it?

Roll Fish wrote:

Joined: 06 Mar 2007 Posts: 3599 Location: Physics Table #1.

yeah just that girls are terrible
i hope she notices that she's doing this
and that she's doing this for a reason instead of acting on a stupid emotional whim and q. possibly making herself feel superior by shutting you down for no reason

unless she's saying "shut up" because it's a playful habit and you can't read voice-cues

Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Posts: 5693

my guess would be she finds you embarrassing in company and is trying to distance herself from you in the eyes of her friends

Joined: 09 Oct 2005 Posts: 7953 Location: egg

Baron von Swede wrote:

my guess would be she finds you embarrassing in company and is trying to distance herself from you in the eyes of her friends

and therefore is probably internally pushing away the idea of ever being in a relationship with you

or if she does have a thing for you I'd be thinking twice about pursuing someone who treats you like this

i mean yeah i learned a lot watching hey arnold too but um

Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 9989 Location: Personal Space

maybe she is bad at flirting with an audience.

Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 8:58 pm

sometimes i tell my friends to shut up because sometimes friends joke?

Joined: 09 Oct 2005 Posts: 7953 Location: egg

he can probably tell what kind of shut up it is though

at least up to the point where he asks on here in an attempt to understand the finer details about what kind of shut up it actually is

Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 11:59 pm

emkay, if he really is the best boy ever, why would you leave him? Is it about you or him?

Maybe the solution is to work on things until you both feel satisfied with it?

Brett, I often make fun of people I like in a playful way to let them know they're in my "in" group. When I don't know someone well or don't like them, I don't make fun and tend to avoid the latter altogether.
$0.02