I am drawn to eat soap

Joined: 19 Jul 2005 Posts: 5828 Location: Los Angeles, CA

Recently I have been working in an office but have not been given much to do. In a drawer I found a bar of soap:

It is "French Milled Vegetable Soap." Ingredients are in French because it is pretentious but they translate to palm-coconut-olive oil, mineral pigment and/or clay, natural fragrance and/or essential oils. It is wrapped in plastic.

I cannot stop myself from smelling the soap. It smells very similar to a potpourri basket you might find in your aunt's bathroom. It is very, very potent, and when I take a deep whiff it actually hurts my sinuses and pulses behind my eyes.

I will bounce it in my hand, sometimes, because it has a nice heft. But if I'm not paying attention I find that my hand drifts toward my mouth. My body wants to eat the soap.

If I take a sniff it overpowers me, and I have to set it down. But it rustles in the plastic and is interesting. It is currently a battle of wills to keep from eating the soap.

Joined: 30 Oct 2007 Posts: 3361

Maybe you have a deficiency in

like

whatever vitamin is in soap

Like don't pregnant women sometimes want to eat like charcoal and stuff because it has some mineral in it babies need or something

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:25 pm

Palm and Coconut oils contain enough saturated fat to not only get that fresh clean glow one gets from rubbing yourself down with oils, but also clog up those arteries better than injecting pitch directly into your bloodstream.

I'm sure that it tastes a bit like bad herbal tea, fresh from being strained in a used bag of microwave popcorn, with the delightful aftertaste of grit.

Everytime you feel like taking a bite, feel free to lick the chair cushion.

It's probably tastier and over all better for you.

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:37 pm

David why are you looking at the rabbi like that

Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 11:20 am

the french are such wonderful chefs

Joined: 15 Jan 2008 Posts: 1458

just eat the tiniest piece of it and when you are like "EW!!! PHWECK!!" and spit it on your desk and cry for a minute, you won't want to eat it again \o/

Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 1:37 pm

but what if that tiniest piece tastes so good?

Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 1:38 pm

You have to let the baby touch the stove. Even if there's a chance he'll become a pyro.

Joined: 15 Jan 2008 Posts: 1458

TRY HEROIN

Joined: 17 Apr 2006 Posts: 6037 Location: 7th frame

taste, rinse, repeat as necessary

Joined: 17 Apr 2006 Posts: 6037 Location: 7th frame

Maybe you feel subconsciously guilty about cussing?

Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 223

If you do eat the vegetable soap, just be sure to supplement your diet with a few servings of fruit soap, grain soap, and as long as you eat it in moderation, sugar soap.

Also be sure to drink at least 8 glasses of water soap a day.

Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 3:38 pm

You give me a bar of something, tell me it's "sugar soap," and I will probably put it in my mouth.

Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:56 pm

Sugar Soap:
For when your sugar is just not clean enough?

Joined: 30 Oct 2007 Posts: 3361

You dropped the soap, sugar

Joined: 17 Apr 2006 Posts: 6037 Location: 7th frame

Really, if you give most of us something to hold, and then distract us with work that only requires one hand, we will eventually put it in our mouth.

Joined: 30 Oct 2007 Posts: 3361

logcabinrepairman wrote:

Really, if you give most of us something to hold, and then distract us with work that only requires one hand, we will eventually put it in our mouth.

That's what SHE said!

Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Posts: 1065

Oh no it's true though
Sometimes I put scissors or erasers in my mouth by accident when I'm drawing
I keep all of my soap out of view though. I have several fancy bars on my dresser but they are so neatly wrapped that in order to take a bite I'd have to disrupt the packaging so I think I'm safe.

Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 7:07 pm

I never put anything in my mouth unless I darn well mean to

Joined: 15 Jan 2008 Posts: 1458

don't you put it in your mouth

Joined: 15 Jan 2008 Posts: 1458

don't you stuff it in your face

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:36 am

I'm not sure what we're referring to here re: "it"

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:41 am

ebay

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:48 am

Auctions make me anxious

Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:17 am

The_Captain wrote:

I'm not sure what we're referring to here re: "it"

Though it might look good to eat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AuLkMBAFZg&mode=related&search=

Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:22 pm

Yay!

I was running out of nightmare fuel.

Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 14

darthkittenlover wrote:

It is currently a battle of wills to keep from eating the soap.

Eat the soap.

Eat the soap eat the soap eat the soap.

Eat the soap.

Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:53 am

Aww, and here I thought this was going to be a thread about you going around ComicCon getting drawings of you eating soap ala Tim Buckley's ham handedness...

Eat the soap.

Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 87 Location: Boulder, Colorado

If you eat the soap, the base substances will react with your stomach acid to create salt water.

So if you eat it, you are very likely to throw up.

So eat the damned soap already.

Joined: 08 Dec 2005 Posts: 9009 Location: SOMEWHERE EXTREME

Eat the soap or not, just update us on it already.

(Eat the soap.)