It seems that this forum...

Joined: 02 Jul 2005 Posts: 6 Location: Minnesota > you

...has an unproportionally high amount of discussion about literature and not enough about pastries.

This situation must be RECTIFIED.

So the question presents itself; why are the products of large-scale pastry championships always non-pastry items? Generally they are categorized as either sugar or chocolate, while true pastries consist of neither, except as an addition.

m-w.com wrote:

Main Entry: pas·try
Pronunciation: 'pAs-trE
Function: noun
1 a : PASTE 1a b : sweet baked goods made of dough having a high fat content

However, these pastries from a national competition are clearly not such.

Discuss.

Joined: 03 Apr 2005 Posts: 3863 Location: Utah and/or Texas

Um.....boo?

Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:05 pm

It seems you are unaware of the only forum rule(that is, the only forum rule that I can remember):

we don't allow images in signiatures. It's a courtesy thing!

Joined: 16 Nov 2004 Posts: 154 Location: Fredericton, NB

Well, speaking as a baker

(bak·er [bā'kər] n.

1. One that bakes bread, cakes, or pastries, especially commercially.)

..I have to say I don't give a shit.

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 9:55 am

I want to marry a pastry chef. Buttonsmith, are you free?

I mean, baker, pastrychef, it's all the same. They both make DELICIOUS THINGS.

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 2:46 pm

Is this also a place for beautiful people to share their recipes for delicious things?

Otherwise it should be!

Joined: 16 Nov 2004 Posts: 154 Location: Fredericton, NB

Sorry, I'm spoken for. Otherwise I would bake you a morgengab of bannana breads, cinnamon danishes and sweet donuts.

And this place is only for delicious people to share their recipies for beautiful things.

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 7:18 pm

Righty-o!

This is likely to become very confusing, party because I'm not really sure about the English names of the ingredients, and partly because everything is measured in metric units. I have no idea how many grams an ounce or a foot is equal to, though. ANYWAYS:

Chocolate Cake

Take 300 grams of sugar and mix with 75 grams of melted butter. Add 3-4 eggs, and make sure everything is well mixed.

IN ANOTHER BOWL: Mix 300 grams of flour with 1 teaspoon of vanilla, 2 teaspoons of baking powder, and 4 table spoons of cocoa. (Or, if you'd like to be extra nice to the beautiful people who will enjoy this cake, substitute with real chocolate.)

THEN: Add the flour-stuff to the butter/sugar-stuff, and pour in 2,5 dl of milk. Mix everything very well, put it in a roasting pan, and bake at about 180 degrees (Celsius, duh) for 20-25 minutes. Add some delicious icing of your own choice.

T-Rex - OMG!

: A splendid recipe!

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 9:04 pm

The Best Pancakes Ever!

DISCLAIMER: This pancakes are the thin kind of ones, not the fat fluffy ones. If you want fat and fluffy, marry an English woman.
The milk jam takes 2 hours to be done, so you better start with that.

To make the pancakes - This takes a few minutes.

- 2 Cups of Flour
- 3 Eggs
- 3 Cups of Milk
- Butter/Margarine/Butter-Spray
- A zip of Oil
- A zip of Salt
- 2 tablespoons of Vanilla Extract, if possible, Mexican Vanilla Extract

Lay the flour in a bowl. Break the eggs and mix 'em. Add the salt, oil and vanilla extract to the mix. Also, add a bit of the milk. Mix until it forms a texture, then add the rest of the milk and keep battering it.

You can add a little rhum or Bailey's for more adultered flavor. I like rhum better.

Now, heat up a skillet. Throw in the butter and spread it. (Alternatively, spray butter with those nifty sprays.)
Then, put a thin layer of the mix into the skillet, to form a THIN pancake. We are NOT making those fat ass fluffy pancakes. We are making crepe-like pancakes, OK?!
Wait a few seconds 'till it turns golden brown, and then flip over the pancake to do both sides. While one side will look yummy, the other one won't look as good as the other. This is not a problem.

When the other side is somewhat done, leave the pancake in a plate.

Repeating doing this process 'till you are out of mix, piling up the pancakes on top of one another when you remove them, so they don't lose the heat.
Every once in a while, spread a tiny bit of butter in the skillet to keep it greased.

To make the Milk Jam (Dulce de Leche) - This takes 2 hours to do.

- A can of condensed milk

Open up the can in a fashion that air gets in, but the milk can't get out.
Put water in a pot and heat it up. When it's boiling, put the opened can in the pot. Remember to keep the condensed milk INSIDE the can! It SHOULD NOT be spilled amongst the water.

When the milk starts bubbling, lower the intensity of the fire, but allow it to keep boiling.

When the milk takes a caramel colour, probably after two hours or so, remove the can safely, and pour the contents in a plate, or an empty peanut butter flask.

To make the final product

Grab a few of the pancakes you made, spread the Dulce de Leche you also made on the non-golden brownish side, and roll them up, like a cannolli.
You can also put hot melted chocolate on top of the pancake, spread minced coconut on top, or add some banana slices, since Dulce de Leche does a great job with bananas.

Feel free to, as you improve your pancake making skills, to try different stuffings.
You can combine Dulce de Leche with cream cheese, or just put a scoop of ice-cream on top of the pancake. God knows that hot Dulce de Leche with cold ice-cream is dreamy for your tastebuds.

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 9:39 pm

Oh, man! Well, you could still make me yummy things! And I could, you know, lust after you!

Anyway! Here's my recipe:
(not a pastry, but still awesome!)

Marjorie Jean West wrote:

Old-Fashioned Baked Apples

6-8 apples (small)
cinnamon candies
mini marshmallows
1 teaspoon cinnamon per apple
¾ cup white sugar
2 tablespoons white flour
¼ tablespoon white flour per apple
½ cup brown sugar
1-1 ½ cups water
(1C = 240g, iirc)

Wash apples and cut in half. Core the apples and place them in a greased glass baking dish.
Mix the white sugar, brown sugar, and white flour and spread it over the apples. Sprinkle cinnamon over the apples and add water. Sprinkle cinnamon candies and mini marshmallows over top and bake at 350°F for 1-1 ½ hours or until apples are tender.

Marjorie Jean West is my grammy! T-Rex - OMG!

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 9:48 pm

I don't like baked apples that much... but I like the lust

Talking about apples, since I'm called Adam, I KNOW that I haven't met no woman called "Eve", otherwise, I'd have dated her just for kicks.
When I do, I'm so using MJ's baked apple recipie!

So, we have Ryan North, Shana West and Moe East as forum members.
Curiously enough, while Moe is in California, Shana is in Japan. Further proof this forum is all upside down!
I HATE there's no anglosaxons on the South!

Joined: 03 Apr 2005 Posts: 3863 Location: Utah and/or Texas

StannisBaratheonIII wrote:

Righty-o!

This is likely to become very confusing, party because I'm not really sure about the English names of the ingredients, and partly because everything is measured in metric units. I have no idea how many grams an ounce or a foot is equal to, though. ANYWAYS:

Chocolate Cake

Take 300 grams of sugar and mix with 75 grams of melted butter. Add 3-4 eggs, and make sure everything is well mixed.

IN ANOTHER BOWL: Mix 300 grams of flour with 2 teaspoons of vanilla, 1 teaspoon of baking powder, and 4 table spoons of cocoa. (Or, if you'd like to be extra nice to the beautiful people who will enjoy this cake, substitute with real chocolate.)

THEN: Add the flour-stuff to the butter/sugar-stuff, and pour in 2,5 dl of milk. Mix everything very well, put it in a roasting pan, and bake at about 180 degrees (Celsius, duh) for 20-25 minutes. Add some delicious icing of your own choice.

T-Rex - OMG!

: A splendid recipe!

First reaction: Yum, cake!

Second reaction: Grams? Tha hell?

Third reaction: Ima buy me a cake!

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 1:24 am

LOLZ
M3TR1C 5Y5T3M PWND U

Joined: 11 Nov 2004 Posts: 724 Location: Under the stairs

super duper girl wrote:

First reaction: Yum, cake!

Second reaction: Grams? Tha hell?

Third reaction: Ima buy me a cake!

My thoughts exactly!

... 'Cos I'm too lazy to look up metric conversions...

... And now that I think of it, I'm too lazy to bake, too...

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 12:06 pm

For your convenience:

Chocolate Cake

Take 10.5821886 ounces of sugar and mix with 2.64554715 ounces of melted butter. Add 3-4 eggs (WHOOPS, NO CONVERSION HERE!), and make sure everything is well mixed.

IN ANOTHER BOWL: Mix 10.5821886 ounces of flour with 1 teaspoon of vanilla, 2 teaspoons of baking powder, and 4 table spoons of cocoa. (Or, if you'd like to be extra nice to the beautiful people who will enjoy this cake, substitute with real chocolate.)

THEN: Add the flour-stuff to the butter/sugar-stuff, and pour in 1 large cup of milk. Mix everything very well, put it in a roasting pan, and bake at about 356 degrees Fahrenheit for 20-25 ounce-minutes. Add some delicious icing of your own choice.

Joined: 31 Jan 2005 Posts: 1231 Location: Sweden

Would that be ordinary eggs or eggs with cholesterol-free yolk-substitute?

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 12:23 pm

Any egg you like, as long as its origin is the behind of a hen!

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 12:38 pm

mugabe wrote:

Would that be ordinary eggs or eggs with cholesterol-free yolk-substitute?

Is that for real?!

If it is:
If people don't want high cholesterol they should STOP EATING HAMBURGERS!

If it's not: you should invent these uncholesterolized eggs, they would make you so rich!

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 3:40 pm

I think they are for real, IWJ! I know there are fake eggs for sure, and not just for vegan types! I think it has something to do with health. . . I'm not sure, because I tend to avoid eggs, outside of baked goods. Eggs don't really like me.

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:10 am

They're real. But the ones I buy (and most of the ones I've seen around) are not safe for vegans. They're derived from honest-to-goodness real eggs, but just with all the bad parts removed. They look basically like the egg-milk mixture you might use to make scrambled eggs, and they come packaged either in a plastic shell or waxed-cardboard carton.

They taste all right, but they're nothing special. Anymore, I pretty much only use them to adhere breading to eggplant or occasionally for baking. There's almost nothing I love more than a couple of jumbo grade A's fried sunny-side up in butter and served over a mess of hash browns and onions. So a plate of scrambled cholesterol-free egg-derivative product just never seems to really do it for me. If that's the best I can do, then I'd rather just not have them at all.

Honestly, I couldn't care less about the red meat, but oh man do I miss real eggs.

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:23 am

Seriously, man!
You have too many produce derivates for a country with too little and too expensive produce in the first place.

I noticed you lack some basic snacks on my last visit too.

Peanut-based Cheetos? Nope!
Cookie-sandwich with hazelnut cream inside bathed in chocolate? Nope!
Little crossaints with melted cheese inside and caramel on top? Nope!

On a related topic, I'd pay serious cash to anyone who can ship me a barrel of honey mustard down to Argie.

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:27 am

Eidam, would you be interested in a care package of a lot of much smaller packages of honey mustard?

'Cause I can probably hook you up, especially if "serious cash" means "cookie-sandwich with hazelnut cream inside bathed in chocolate." (And perhaps an explanation of how exactly a peanut-based Cheeto works, because it is not part of the normal George Washington Carver's Great Inventions lesson).

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:37 am

Ooooh, George Washington Carver is my lifelong hero.

FRIGGIN.
PEANUT.
FUEL.

Anyhow, Peanut Cheeto's are magical actually, here's a pic:

TRIPLE Cookie-sandwich with Hazelnut cream bathed with chocolate:

One thing that always bothered me is that they call those "Triple" 'cause it has 3 layers, and the 2 layers ones are called "Simples".

I'd give you anything for honey mustard. Salads are so much boring now I've tried honey mustard. Also, a bottle or two of Thousand Islands wouldn't hurt, I fancy a kani kama + spicy tuna + pineapple + thousand islands + cucumber pizza soooo damn much.

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:53 am

Eidam wrote:

Ooooh, George Washington Carver is my lifelong hero.

FRIGGIN.
PEANUT.
FUEL.

Anyhow, Peanut Cheeto's are magical actually, here's a pic:

TRIPLE Cookie-sandwich with Hazelnut cream bathed with chocolate:

One thing that always bothered me is that they call those "Triple" 'cause it has 3 layers, and the 2 layers ones are called "Simples".

Emigrating to Argentina. Right. Now.

Joined: 04 Jul 2005 Posts: 31

sgower wrote:

It seems you are unaware of the only forum rule(that is, the only forum rule that I can remember):

we don't allow images in signiatures. It's a courtesy thing!

Mondodor, Mondodor, Mondodor...

Am I gonna have to take you out behind the shed again?

Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 3741 Location: Cumming

Mondodor the Blastinator wrote:

However, these pastries from a national competition are clearly not such.

Oh man have you seen them make those things on tv??? I WANNA DO THAT.

Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 3741 Location: Cumming

http://www.pastrychampionship.com/archives/01competition/competitors/weider.html
uhmmm i think you might wanna see this!!