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this is copyright me do not use w/o permission
PART ONE THE SET UP
Wonderella was calmly sipping her malt liquor drink relaxingly at the New Year’s Eve party when without warning the mayor called her personal cell phone which was red so you know it is an emergency.
“Wonderella!” Wonderita yelled under her breath. “Your red cell phone for emergencies is ringing!”
“Ugh I know I don’t want to answer it”
Wonderita took Wonderella’s red cell phone and looked at the caller I.D. It said THE MAYOR and Wonderita said “It’s the Mayor!” Wonderella grunted and pulled her champagne glass away from her lips “Give it to me!”
“Hello is this Wonderella! I have a problem for her to solve!” The Mayor’s voice was scared about the problem.
“Yes, this is Wonderella,” Wonderella sighed. Her eyes were sarcastic and Wonderita became apprehensive.
“someone has strapped a time bomb to the New Year’s Disco Ball and I need you to fix it since everyone else is gone.” The mayor gulped awaiting Wonderella’s response but Wonderella just took another drink from her glass which didn’t actually have champagne in it it was scotch.
“Wonderella!?!” the Mayor asked. He was afraid she had left the phone already without all the details because he perceived her as having a strong sense of civic duty and also didn’t even know she was drinking alcohol!
“I’m here, Mayor,” Wonderella said and put on sunglasses to look cooler even though it was getting dark. “Tell me about all of the details—the ones you know, that is.” So the Mayor gave her all the facts. It was an atomic warhead that was inside the New Year’s Disco Ball and in New York City it was going to drop and detonate and the detonation would kill a million people or more because he didn’t know how many were in New York City because of the party where extra people came. “I will handle it,” Wonderella said and with catlike reflexes and in one fluid motion closed her phone because it is a flip phone and it went SNAP and she grimaced a mean smile.
“Wonderella, if you stop the ball from dropping you’ll ruin the party!” Wonderita said because she had heard the conversation because the Mayor is a loud speaker.
“Oh my god you’re right” she replied softly oh so softly and her sunglasses fell to the floor and cracked to pieces just like her plan of stopping the ball cracked to pieces but in her head.
PART TWO A NEW HOPE
Wonderella got a new call on her red cell phone but this time the caller I.D. said THE PRESIDENT. “I can’t talk to him right now because I have no good news to report about the situation the Mayor told me of earlier tonight” Wonderella thought and silenced the ringer and Wonderita’s face was an expression of worry.
“Maybe we should call another hero and see if they can help us?” asked Wonderita and Wonderella nodded sagely but felt her buzz wearing off so she drank the rest of her glass in one gulp and poured another.
“I’ll call Queen Beetle” and Wonderella dialed the phone number on her regular cell phone.
“Hello this is Queen Beetle” Queen Beetle said
“This is Wonderella”
“Please leave a message after the tone and I will call you when Kwanza is over” Queen Beetle finished because it was a prerecorded message on her voicemail.
“Oh no not Kwanza! First Christmas and now New York City!” said Wonderita in vain.
But Wonderella had already hung up and dialed Patrianna and was calling her that very instant. “Hello Patrianna!” Wonderella said when she answered.
“…..What” said Patrianna.
“There is a bomb in New York City on the New Year’s Disco Ball!” said Wonderella “and I don’t know how to stop it from going off except by completely ruining the entire world’s party,”
“Well when does it go off?” Patrianna asked.
“Midnight exactly right when it drops.” Wonderita let out a quiet shriek at the thought of the exploding disco ball.
“Well why don’t you just replace it or something with a real New Year’s Disco Ball so it doesn’t explode or anything?”
Wonderella thanked her by calling her an idiot and then asked Wonderita where to get disco balls while hanging up the telephone by closing it like before with the red one. “I don’t know” she said “maybe we could borrow one from a skating rink?”
“Yes” wonderella said “perhaps”
PART THREE THE CONCLUSION
Wonderella and Wonderita jumped really high and got going very fast and got in the Invisi-Blimp and took a disco ball to the New York City New Year’s Party. When they got there Wonderella saw Hitlerella but disguised in the crowd so no one knew it was her but Wonderella could tell. Wonderella started to change the disco balls out but Hitlerella ran up and took off her disguise and said “Hey stop that I am going to kill all of these people!”
“But why Hitlerella!” Wonderella screamed back and then wished she was more drunk.
“Because of all the Jews in New York the state…..” Hitlerella laughed at her brilliant plan.
“Well I can’t let you do that even if I don’t really want to do anything about it” and Wonderella punched her so hard she flew into the ocean which was kinda far away if you think about it. Then she swapped out the ball and Dr. Shark ate Hitlerella using his teeth.
“finally the city is safe” she said and called back the president but he was too busy watching avatar by james Cameron to answer. his phone. Wonderita poured her some gin or something Wonderella didn’t care. Then they all started to party!
Wonderella’s mom came and said what a good job she did and Wonderella said “moooom” because of parents.
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