Truth and Beauty Bombs

Let's make up a rock opera. Make up characters, song titles, episodes, lyrics, actual songs, or whatever.

In the England of the 1920's, posh civil servant John Davery Bumberscotch Bruttington settles down for the morning meal (Eggs, Ham, Bacon, And Such). Unfortunately, over the course of consuming his victuals, he spills very hot tea on himself (Oh My, That's Going to Scald).

But little does he realize that the doctor's office he visits is a portal to an alternate dimension (Be Careful, Your Doctor's Office Could Be a Portal to an Alternate Dimension). There in the alternate dimension (called the Flip-Out Zone (It's Called the Flip-Out Zone You Know)) John spies a glimpse of his descendants in the 1960's, when the Bruttington Family has gone to seed (Oh Dear, The Bruttington Family Has Gone to Seed). In particular Harry Bruttington is a wannabe rocker with schizophrenia, depression, manic-depression, OCD, MPD, pyromania, fear of heights, and asperger's syndrome (You're One Fucked Up Kid, Harry). Now John must decide between living out his privileged life in the 20's or helping his relatives out in the future (Big Decisions).

Also, somehow there are dwarves involved (Somehow Dwarves are Involved).

John decides to help his descendants, traveling forward in time to the 1960s. John attempts to salvage Harry by teaching him the values that won Britain the war and led to the economic bonanza of the 1920s (Your Country Needs You!). The song takes the form of a music hall number set in the 1920s, dedicated to John's well-meaning rhetoric. Harry responds with a gleeful excoriation of John's argument as he shows how the very attitudes his ancestor is promoting led to the situation in which Harry currently finds himself (Shellshock). Neither are able to offer a meaningful way out of the Bruttingtons' predicament, and Harry and John embark on a nihilistic bender, killing a prostitute in the process (Kitten Tits).

Desperate and miserable, John returns to the 1920s, unaware that Harry has followed him. However, something is very wrong. Gigantic living tanks, resembling armadillos, have invaded Britain and are reducing her cities to rubble (Ant Eaters). Has he truly returned to his own time? Or has some terrible accident befallen the space-time continuum?

It turns out half of London has been transformed into a portal to the Flip-Out Zone, and the dwarves are involved (Half of London is Now a Portal to the Flip-Out Zone (Dwarves are Involved)).

The opera ends in a dairy queen.

Do they have Dairy Queens in the UK? (Is That Even A Thing There?)

It has to be.

Meanwhile, the ruler of the Flip-Out Zone, the eponymous Dairy Queen (Caretaker of Cow and Cattle) has just discovered John and Harry's jaunt through time. Disgusted with their cavalier attitude to the space-time continuum (Bleedin' Tourists), she has her tankadillos shanghai the two Bruttingtons back to Flip-Out; there, they are convicted in a literal kangaroo court (Shot From a Gun/Shot From a Rocket), and sentenced to the Filthy Pit of Seven Trials (How Are We Getting Out of This One?).

In the Filthy Pit John and Harry faces their first trial: to please Aurora the Electric Eel Strumpet. Aurora is half beautiful women, half electric eel. She demands that John and Harry make love to her. John is willing, but Harry know that to touch Aurora will result in a fatal electric shock (This Bird is Bad News, John). Instead John and Harry does a dance (Electric Pelvis) that is so alluring that Aurora declares that she is pleased.

The Bruttingtons' second trial is an ordeal by cookery (Beaten; Whipped; Creamed). The two unfortunates must prepare a feast vast and delicious enough to sate Lord Hugely Quiversome-Snide, using only the most basic of ingredients. John is at a loss, having always had his meal prepared fro him by his servants. Harry, however, saves the day by making a plate of French toast and some meat and potato ash, which he laces with psychedelics he brought with him from the 1960s (Spudnik). Lord Quiversome-Snide hallucinates that he is full, and the trial is passed with flying colours (Acid Test).

The third trial is a face-off against another prisoner called the Self-Mendicant (Filthy Beggar). He is very poor because whatever money he gets he donates to himself. Anyway, the two Bruttingtons pass the trial for reasons that are incredibly vague and trippy (We Were Really High When We Wrote This, Okay).

The forth trial involves them counterfeiting money. Part of the process involves an oven, but it catches on fire (counterfeit my fire). The Bruttingtons manage to save one bill but that's all they needed to pass (one bill...ionaire).