Truth and Beauty Bombs

those are Jawas

Jawas are awesome

Jawas, huh? I like it. What do they look like underneath those robes?

Aw, nobody liked the little robot so he tried to run away. That's really cute.

Okay, so what are these tribal cyborg men called? They don't seem as imposing as I think the movie wants me to think they are.

Obi-Wan Kenobi just sort of appeared. I don't think I understood what happened. "Obi-Wan? That's a name I haven't heard since nigh off and 19 aught 6. It was summer then, and the grass was just about the right length for straw season. Me and the boys were. . ." I don't know what he's talking about. Crazy old wizard.

Jawas are never shown sans cloak.

star wars wiki says

Through the study of corpses and skeletal remains, Baobab xenobiologists discovered that Jawas appeared to be gaunt, rodent-like creatures, with shrunken faces and yellow eyes.[4] Conflicting research suggests that Jawas and Tuskens, two native species of Tatooine originally evolved from the same extinct species, the Kumumgah[5], as both have common genetic markers. While other research suggests Jawas originated from humans. Due to their timid private nature, and a lack of interest, their exact origins are unknown.

also those guys are Tusken Raiders

Hey, The Clone Wars. That's the movie I've seen. Neat. Everything's CONNECTED.

The dark times. The empire. Were these cliches before this movie, or is this like Shakespeare.

What, Darth Vader WAS his father. What kind of ship are you running here Obi-Wan?

Is Obi-Wan a Beatle? "He's Paul's Grandfather. He's very clean." God, he's annoying. So smug. I hate him.

Good, Empire people. The Ultimate Power in the universe. It must be great to belong to a Crazy Religion that you can illustrate at any moment by choking people.

That didn't last long. Now Luke is being impetuous. His home village is destroyed, like in the beginning of Ninja Gaiden.

HA HA HA Floating Needle Robot is the best thing in this movie so far.

Stupid little furry creatures like in THX1138. Why does George Lucas like those things so much?

Luke's pretty lucky. I think I would be pretty happy if my home village was destroyed and I had steady employment in the profitable field of telekinesis.

THERE IS NOTHING LAUGHABLE ABOUT FLOATING NEEDLE ROBOT

Nobody likes Luke Skywalker. Do I blame them? I don't know. It's kind of weird that only the important characters are normal humans when so many sentient races exist.

I guess I wouldn't be happy per se if my village was destroyed, I mean that's kind of terrible. But it would be nice to be forced to move on. Just making it clear that I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I don't want everyone to die.

Harrison Ford appears to be some kind of "Fugitive." This bounty-hunting alien is really adorable. What race is this guy? Wait, did Harrison Ford just kill him? Harrison Ford is a monster!

Jabba the Hut looks like he's made of computer. It looks so bad. I can't stand it. What's the point of putting a huge bounty on someone if they owe you money? I don't get it.

Quick Count on Likable Characters so far: Jawas, Greedo (deceased), maybe Chewbacca, but I don't really know yet.

The empire's ship is a lot bigger than Harrison Ford's. I'm not really sure how the big wedge connects to the Death Star. I thought they were on the wedge, but now they're in the sphere. Oh man, they just blew up a planet! The empire's pretty evil! That's good, I was worried there might be some moral ambiguity in this movie, like World War II or something.

Luke Skywalker is fighting a sphere. The sphere seems to be winning. Uh-oh, Harrison Ford has never seen anything to make him believe in a very easily demonstrable religion. Why is everyone in this movie so smug? Is real life like this?

I didn't realize that they were going to the planet that got destroyed. I guess Harrison Ford isn't getting the money to pay off his debt. I guess Jabba the Hut is going to kill him. I hope I don't get too attached to him.

The reason Jabba looks so shitty is because Lucas wanted to include that scene (it wasn't in the original), but Jabba was originally just a fat human, which would have some minor continuity issues. Now he's just a strange looking worm that, although being one of the area's most feared crimelords, it's okay for Han Solo to step on his tail.

So is the whole volume of the Death Star inhabitable? And it's as big as a moon? That is a lot of space! Is it all filled with people? Is this the entire empire? Because I think it could be.

So these intrepid idiots and their cute robots are infiltrating this improbably hulking megalith? Is that what's happening in this movie?

I'm asking a lot of questions, I think I should just accept the events of the movie as they unfold, rather than criticizing everything. Maybe I'm the smug bastard, did I ever think of that?

Oh no, the empire has an even tinier, even squeakier robot! There's no hope at all.

Ben Kenobi's violating his restraining order. Does he have no respect for the rule of law?

Why in the hell would anybody say that episode 1 is better than 2? If you are going to see them from best to worst then you would even be watching Caravan of Courage before episode 1.

I was just going by the list that a friend gave me. He read a substantial of the Star Wars books as a child, so I thought his opinion meant something. Apparently not?

After further thought, I don't know why I would trust the taste of someone who read most of the Star Wars books.

I kind of lost track of what's going on in the movie. So the main characters are in a trash compactor, and the robots are wandering around talking to people, which I find a little confusing. Aren't these the droids they were looking for?

SO Obi-Wan Kenobi just wandered into the Master Control room or something and is adjusting levers, which I assume means he's doing something important. Harrison Ford and Jamie Lee Curtis are fighting in their It Happened One Night kind of way. More and more people are using the word Blast. Oh, I remember this part from Toys! They walked into a room that's a pit. They are shark puppets underneath, if I remember right. Oh no. Just blasting. Hey, a Wilhelm Scream. I love those.

The Luke and Han sections are way too linear. The Obi-Wan sections have much better gameplay. I really like the shoulder-tapping move. And the swordfighting! Though it is a shame that losing makes the difficulty setting go down.

you probably would enjoy this more if you werent liveblogging, since liveblogging is an excuse to be smug at things imo

ftr, Obi-Wan is turning off the shields, and in escaping, Leia and crew jumped down a trash chute to avoid a shootout they couldnt win.

You're probably right. I'll just calmly watch the rest of the movie.

I don't mean, like, I hate your liveblogging, but I think Star Wars is a good franchise in general and deserves an honest chance.

Hey Biggs and Wedge. From Final Fantasy. Though I kind of expected Cid re: Airships.

don't listen to tyler this is the best thread in forever

It was a pretty good movie, definitely more enjoyable than Die Hard 2. It might even be on Beverly Hills Cop level.

That's Carrie Fisher, not Jamie Lee Curtis. I guess I always thought they were the same person. Huh. Well whatever. I'm in it for the long haul. I'll probably watch Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back this Saturday night, feel free to join me, I guess.

Wedge is so cool.

I agree that you would probably enjoy them more if you weren't live-blogging, but seriously your commentary is the best thing in the whole world and it's awesome.



Also, once you're done with the six actual movies, I suggest you continue with Thumbwars: The Phantom Cuticle.

NEVER WATCH STAR WARS

Misha is like the worst audience one can imagine for any film

JESUS CHRIST YOU GUYS

DIDN'T ANYONE TELL HIM TO GET THE EWOK MOVIES, 2D CLONE WARS, 3D CLONE WARS, AND HOLIDAY SPECIAL AND WATCH THEM IN ORDER OF INTERNAL CHRONOLOGY?!

PHILISTINES

GAWD

also you really need to watch Droids and the animated Ewoks series if you're going to do this properly

<3 Ewoks
<3 2D Clone Wars
H8 Holiday Special

½ nut Cn the rest

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re: chunky meg

It just occurred to me that there are 2 Ewok movies and 2 2D Clone Wars volumes, so this is fairly logical/accurate.

seriously tho

anyone who says the old movies are better or the pre-digital insert old movies are the best is making an irrelevant appeal to nostalgia and should be made to listen to Carrie Fisher's singing until they think it is good

i have no problem with people disliking Star Wars on the grounds that it has some fairly major problems with whatever

but saying "4 is better than n" is just plain dumb. they're all dumb. they're all film-serial level plots with magic this and woop-de-doo that and any criticism you can lay at the feet of one you can transfer to any of the others without difficulty

i say this as a man who will be made to watch a random star wars movie by a five-year-old this weekend and is not looking forward to it for reasons

besides if michael isn't prepared to part with just 50-odd hours of his life to liveblog his star wars initiation then he may as well just watch Space Raiders six times

oooh

yeah you need to watch Space Raiders and Battle Beyond the Stars and Spaceballs and a couple other things too

I really like this line

has anyone seen the original star wars trailer ?

Chunky Meg you are arguably right about 6, but 4 and 5 totally do go above/beyond the pulpiness - a la Raiders of the Lost Ark, to pick another Harrison Ford movie.

judgment between original edition and special edition is a completely unrelated issue and I do not have strong opinions on it except to say the old Boba Fett voice actor was definitely better