Truth and Beauty Bombs

IT HAS CONVECTION AND I AM IN LOVE WITH IT

Use it like a tiny oven!

I only ever have a toaster oven rather than a regular toaster. It was my mom's decision because she only ever has toaster ovens. Simplest: butter bread then toast it so that it is wonderful. It also makes good garlic bread this way.

But for like the past 4 or 5 years I haven't had a real stove, so that toaster oven gets to like cook everything that doesn't specifically warn to NEVER cook in a toaster oven. It even can bake teensy little breads from scratch.

Pizza rolls

send an 8-bit camera picture to dezro's webzone if u want a pizza roll

roast bell pepper halves

just chop those things in half and pull out the seed thingie in the middle

stuff sausage and cheese in em

put more cheese on top

stick em back in there

yum

scoop out a peach w/ a spoon, removing the pit through the top

put a marshmallow inside

put chocolate chips on top of the marshmallow

crumble up a graham cracker and sprinkle the crumbs on the chips

toast on low for a long time

eat the mess that results

reheat slices of pizza the way God intended

get one of those little silicon ice cube trays

put polenta in it

cook up your polenta

eat the little polenta balls w/ marinara or finely diced mushrooms cooked in marsala wine reduction

beat a boneless skinless chicken breast half flat w/ a meat tenderizer

put hatch roasted chiles mixed w/ monterey cheese in the middle (like a couple tablespoons)

with some toothpicks, pin the chicken around the cheese and chiles

coat it with a mix of breadcrumbs and cayenne

cook in toaster oven for 20 minutes

remove from toaster oven

pull out the toothpicks

put a spoonful of salsa on top, and cook another 20 minutes

if you can figure out a decent side dish for this let me know cause I got nothing

slice potatoes into thin strips

coat in oil

sprinkle w/ rosemary

cook until delicious

like french fries you can feel proud of eating

YES. Yes I am definitely doing some of that. Excellent.

Actually, I've been using it mostly as a tiny oven. I don't think I've toasted a single slice of bread yet. I don't even think I've considered bread. Just, like, bagels.

I should probably toast up a slice of bread.


ALSO:
I just remembered, this thing can broil! I don't think I remember exactly what broiling is, though. I should look into that. What kind of thing should I broil? Should I broil?

edit: nevermind i was wrong

make a sunday roast
today

yeah just don't let big brother catch u

Put brown sugar and butter on grapefruit halves and put them under the broiler

Cook bacon at around 250 degrees on the broiler pan

You can put brown sugar on that too if you want to be fat like Paula Deen

do not ever use the broiler w/ bacon tho

had a girl do that at my house one day

luckily, I am a block from the fire department

broil a dang 4oz tenderloin steak

saute some foie gras and place on top of t.loin

drizzle w/ white truffle oil, serve on a bed of sauteed spinach

pipe mashed potatoes with a frosting bag in little florets around the edge of the plate if you like, maybe mix some bearnaise into the potatoes

dezro eating foie gras

roast beets for Valentine's Day

choke up on the blade of your paring knife, and core the top of a couple of small, firm beets, removing the stems and a shallow cone of the beet flesh at the top

toss w/ oil and fold into an aluminum foil envelope

roast @ 375 for about 25 minutes

allow to cool

use finger tips (in gloves if you don't want purple fingers), rub the skin off

slice thinly along bias from top to bottom, so that you get a bunch of little hearts

sautee lightly

use hearts to garnish the bistecca de foie gras deal I talked about above

DEZRO PLZ DON'T DO THIS BEFORE MAKING SURE YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE EXPRESSION "TO CHOKE UP" MEANS

cabbie that is

fucked up

to give a bachelor a "valentines day" recipe when he will most likely be spending it alone

o rite

it means "hold the tip of the blade between your index finger and thumb, so that you have a lot of control, and about 1/2" of knife is exposed from your hand"

don't like

idk

squeeze the blade edge

or

swallow a paring knife

damn

dez if u want that recipe make sure to do it

ironically

as a "eff v-day!" thing

and put like

lil arrows thru the beets (or toothpicks)

it's supposed to be a
good thing for there to be arrows thru them

kinda like this, only near the tip:

unless there are like
3 lvls of irony in this dish

oh

well

u can see why i'm still single then! ahaha! hahhehe.....

GODDAMMIT
SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE
DELETING POSTS
ILLEGAL