Truth and Beauty Bombs

[NSFV]

In the following lines, I will explain how to concoct a Chocotorta. This is the most delectable dessert of my country, and dare I say, the whole globe.

Let me be straight here: this dessert is just an excuse to cram a lot of dulce de leche and sugar into your body. However, it gives a lot of room for variation since it's so basic and understated.

The concept is not too hard to comprehend: it's basically several layers of biscuits with a creamy paste between each, and it's eaten cold. The sublime part of this dish, though, is the texture. I suppose it could be compared to an Oreo Madness or similar things.

In any case, to create it, you need a whole bunch of chocolate biscuits. They must be dry, NOT sugar-coated or too sugary for that matter, and soft.
The ideal kind is the namesake for the dish: Chocolinas. You can buy these at international markets in the US, but I'm sure Nabisco has some sort of replacement you can use, right?
If you can't find any of these, you can make the biscuits at home. Considering it's not an easy task (unless you have a passion for patisserie), I won't take the time to explain how to. Here's a website that explains how to make them with nice pictures and all, but in Martian.


So, let's say that's not a problem!
Here's what you need!: (we need a punctuation mark that's both an exclamation sign and a colon)

• 60 or so dry, soft chocolate biscuits, plain.
• A big pot of prime Argentinian dulce de leche. (If you can't find some, it's really easy to make.)
• A big cup of coffee, or even a jar. You can choose what kind of coffee you want to add for different flavours.
• Lotsa cream. This is the tricky part. The better the cream, the better the dessert, so just pick whatever is the best for you. In Argentina, it's commonly made with a sour cheese-based cream, but I personally prefer it sweet. For novelty, some people use ice-cream.
• Cream cheese. You probably don't have the cream we use, so you are probably better off using whipped cream and adding the cheese as some Philadelphia or whatever.

Here are the instructions:

1. Grab a large rectangular pan. Place the biscuits one next to the other on the pan until you make a whole floor with them.
2. Mix the dulce de leche, the cream and the cream cheese together. Feel free to add almonds, nuts or peanuts to the paste, but that's just being insane in my eyes.
3. Soak the layer of biscuits in the pan with hot coffee.
4. Add a layer of the paste on top of the biscuits, like a mason would with cement to a row of bricks.
5. Put another layer of biscuits atop the paste.
6. Repeat this process until you have a final layer of biscuits on top.
7. Put a plastic wrap around the cake and shove it into the fridge for 3 hours or so.

And that's it! You can do it with a little cousin or bro or woman since it's so simple.

Add sprinkles! M&Ms! Whatever.

To me, the best way to make this is making the paste thick enough to create more space between the biscuit layers without making the cake soft.


If you made the dessert right, you'll grab bites so big you choke.

Not safe for 'vores?

you mexicans put dulce de leche on everything

not safe for
vegans?
vanity (re: will make u fat)?
Venezuelans?

also how does the hot coffee not make the biscuits completely into mush

because it seems like that would happen

vegans



these biscuits are very dry, and getting them soaked just gets the top a little bit mush but the rest is still more or less solid.

once you freeze it, it regains a little bit more of solidity






also dulce de leche is not mexican, its argentinian. mexican DDL is a whole other creature filled with goat jizz

pepper theyre """biscuits""" as in cookies

not like

american biscuits

how do american biscuits work

are they just scones that you dunk in gravy

theyre different than scones pleb

is there a bread product that would better serve as a comparison than scones

anyway they don't sound 'bad' just seems like
regular bread could more or less cover all your gravy-wiping needs

v dense v tender (not crumbly) unsweet scones is the closest approximation

they are more for like

sausage/egg sandwiches

biscuits are savory scones

but they should be lighter.

like they have the texture of a brioche, but without sugar.

uh no fuckin way should a biscuit be as light and fluffy as brioche

biscuits are thick and heavy and buttery

that would just basically be

a muffin

man yeah just think of an
unsweetened scone

delicious imo

damn they sound pretty good
imagining a fancy homecooked egg+sausage scone sandwich

every scone ive had has been awful and not really like a biscuit at all texture-wise

i've only had good scones once
and they were savoury (basically just flour/water/salt but the right amount of salt and cooking time i think?)

and when they're bad they're blaaaand

good ones were like really fantastic bread though

actually we call it cajeta (yes, made w/goat milk) and I like it a lot more than DDL but then again I had it a lot more as a kid

dont understand this disgusting dessert
dont understand most desserts
just like
'why does it even have sugar
id rather be eating some cucumber slices'

pretty sure ddl is European

but anyway I want to try this

ugh this is like
every nation trying to claim the invention of
"the book"
"the spoon" etc

the spoon was invented in australia in the late 1890s

Coincidentally the spork was invented in New Zealand around the same time.