disclaimer:
i edited out laughter, most reactions, and all non-ziggy related stuff so
this would be easier to read
ZIGGY IS A COMPLETE FAILURE
05[00:44] <ziggy> ziggy
05[00:44] <ziggy> falls out of the helicopter as it leaves jurassic park imo
05[00:45] <ziggy> ziggy
05[00:45] <ziggy> leads the dinosaur to the ship
05[00:45] <ziggy> but forgets to get off
05[00:45] <ziggy> before it departs
05[00:46] <ziggy> and
05[00:46] <ziggy> the dinosaur he led
05[00:46] <ziggy> was a pterodactyl
[00:46] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[00:46] <zippythepinhead> accidentally slathers his face in
[00:46] <zippythepinhead> dinosaur embryos
05[00:47] <ziggy> he accidentally kills
05[00:47] <ziggy> every
05[00:47] <ziggy> single
05[00:47] <ziggy> dino
[00:47] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[00:47] <zippythepinhead> eats all of the
[00:47] <zippythepinhead> jell-o in jurassic park
[00:47] <zippythepinhead> so then
[00:47] <zippythepinhead> no one is
[00:47] <zippythepinhead> able to tell
[00:47] <zippythepinhead> when a dinosaur is coming
05[00:47] <ziggy> he
05[00:48] <ziggy> eats all the plants
05[00:48] <ziggy> all the herbivores starve
05[00:48] <ziggy> ziggy
05[00:48] <ziggy> sticks his hand in shit
05[00:48] <ziggy> to look for a phone
05[00:48] <ziggy> wait
05[00:48] <ziggy> wait
05[00:48] <ziggy> was that even in
05[00:48] <ziggy> the first two
05[00:48] <ziggy> or is that the third
[00:48] <zippythepinhead> hahahahhaha
[00:48] <zippythepinhead> I
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> don't think
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> so
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> re: first two
05[00:49] <ziggy> well he
05[00:49] <ziggy> sticks his hand in shit anyway
05[00:49] <ziggy> the end
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> while
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> everyone is
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> trying to
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> make the trex not notice them
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> ziggy is
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> stading around holding a candle
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> to teach us a lesson
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> about how
[00:49] <zippythepinhead> jesus is
[00:50] <zippythepinhead> like a
[00:50] <zippythepinhead> candle
[00:50] <zippythepinhead> that you
[00:50] <zippythepinhead> shouldn't hide
[00:50] <zippythepinhead> under a
[00:50] <zippythepinhead> bushel
[00:50] <zippythepinhead> or w/e
05[00:50] <ziggy> he
05[00:50] <ziggy> leaves to go get some snacks
05[00:50] <ziggy> slips and
05[00:51] <ziggy> somehow smashes all the embryos with a shaving can
05[00:51] <ziggy> it rolls outside and he
05[00:51] <ziggy> tries to recover it
05[00:51] <ziggy> and kills newman
[00:51] <zippythepinhead> slips in the bathtub
[00:51] <zippythepinhead> and
[00:51] <zippythepinhead> tubgirls himself
[00:51] <zippythepinhead> in the face
05[00:51] <ziggy> he
05[00:51] <ziggy> shits himself as they
05[00:51] <ziggy> watch mr dna
05[00:52] <ziggy> ziggy has no pants
[00:52] <zippythepinhead> ziggy tells dr. grant
[00:52] <zippythepinhead> that he's a
[00:52] <zippythepinhead> big fan of his book
[00:52] <zippythepinhead> but that the
[00:52] <zippythepinhead> idea that
[00:52] <zippythepinhead> birds evolved
[00:52] <zippythepinhead> from anything
[00:52] <zippythepinhead> is ridiculous
05[00:52] <ziggy> ziggy
05[00:52] <ziggy> has a delorean and
05[00:52] <ziggy> needs to stop doc brown from being shot
05[00:52] <ziggy> but fucks it up
05[00:52] <ziggy> endlessly
[00:53] <ziggy> grant
\05[00:53] <ziggy> threatens him
05[00:53] <ziggy> w/ a claw and
05[00:53] <ziggy> ziggy cries
[00:53] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[00:53] <zippythepinhead> runs onstage
[00:53] <zippythepinhead> and
[00:53] <zippythepinhead> starts to
[00:53] <zippythepinhead> play the guitar
[00:53] <zippythepinhead> but it's
[00:54] <zippythepinhead> not plugged in
[00:54] <zippythepinhead> and
[00:54] <zippythepinhead> he's trying to play
[00:54] <zippythepinhead> peter paul and mary anyway
05[00:54] <ziggy> you know that new sound you're looking for??
05[00:54] <ziggy> well listen to this!!!
05[00:55] <ziggy> "ziggy strumming the same note on an out-of-tune electric guitar that's turned off"
[00:55] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[00:55] <zippythepinhead> plugs his guitar into some
[00:55] <zippythepinhead> gigantic amp
[00:55] <zippythepinhead> and
[00:55] <zippythepinhead> accidentally plays
[00:55] <zippythepinhead> the brown note
[00:55] <zippythepinhead> and shits himself
05[00:56] <ziggy> ziggy
05[00:56] <ziggy> jumps in the delorean and
05[00:56] <ziggy> goes back 30 seconds
05[00:56] <ziggy> and runs himself over
[00:56] <zippythepinhead> in the future
[00:56] <zippythepinhead> ziggy has
[00:56] <zippythepinhead> birkenstocks that fasten themselves automatically
[00:56] <zippythepinhead> over his socks
05[00:57] <ziggy> he
05[00:57] <ziggy> sees a JAWS 3D ad
05[00:57] <ziggy> and shits himself again
[00:57] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[00:57] <zippythepinhead> has a hoverboard
[00:57] <zippythepinhead> but
[00:57] <zippythepinhead> doesn't even know how to
[00:57] <zippythepinhead> ride a normal skateboard
[00:57] <zippythepinhead> so
[00:57] <zippythepinhead> he lies down on it
[00:57] <zippythepinhead> and
[00:57] <zippythepinhead> wraps his
[00:57] <zippythepinhead> arms/legs around it
05[00:58] <ziggy> goes over some water is stuck
05[00:58] <ziggy> starves
05[00:58] <ziggy> oops, forgot an "and"
[00:58] <zippythepinhead> after
[00:58] <zippythepinhead> ziggy interferes with the past
[00:58] <zippythepinhead> a
[00:58] <zippythepinhead> black person
[00:58] <zippythepinhead> never becomes
[00:58] <zippythepinhead> mayor
[00:58] <zippythepinhead> and
[00:59] <zippythepinhead> slavery
[00:59] <zippythepinhead> starts up
[00:59] <zippythepinhead> again
05[00:59] <ziggy> why would that be
05[00:59] <ziggy> ziggy messing up the past
[00:59] <zippythepinhead> urrite
[00:59] <zippythepinhead> ziggy is
[00:59] <zippythepinhead> white
[00:59] <zippythepinhead> in america
05[00:58] <ziggy> biff
05[00:58] <ziggy> means to punch ziggy but accidentally kills him
05[00:59] <ziggy> biff goes to prison for life
05[00:59] <ziggy> and his mom feels bad and promises to wait for him
05[00:59] <ziggy> ziggy
05[01:00] <ziggy> goes back 300 years and
05[01:00] <ziggy> runs over his
05[01:00] <ziggy> identical irish forefather
[00:59] <zippythepinhead> biff
[01:00] <zippythepinhead> means to rape
[01:00] <zippythepinhead> ziggy's mother
[01:00] <zippythepinhead> but
[01:00] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[01:00] <zippythepinhead> ends up getting raped
[01:00] <zippythepinhead> (just blamed a victim sorry D:!!!!)
[01:00] <zippythepinhead> (HAHAHAHAHA JUST KIDDING IT'S ZIGGY!!!!)
05[01:00] <ziggy> he pratfalls and
05[01:00] <ziggy> positions himself right in front of the dick somehow
05[01:00] <ziggy> nobody can stop it
[01:01] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[01:01] <zippythepinhead> goes back in time
[01:01] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:01] <zippythepinhead> accidentally rapes his mother
05[01:01] <ziggy> ziggy gets his hand caught in The mr. fusion machine
[01:01] <zippythepinhead> ziggy travels through time in a
[01:01] <zippythepinhead> vw golf
05[01:02] <ziggy> he
05[01:02] <ziggy> inspires a black man
05[01:02] <ziggy> to run for local hitler
[01:02] <zippythepinhead> lightning
[01:02] <zippythepinhead> makes
[01:02] <zippythepinhead> his power go out
[01:03] <zippythepinhead> for a bit
[01:03] <zippythepinhead> then
[01:03] <zippythepinhead> once it's back on
[01:03] <zippythepinhead> ziggy has to
[01:03] <zippythepinhead> figure out how to
[01:03] <zippythepinhead> reset the
[01:03] <zippythepinhead> clock on his vcr
[01:03] <zippythepinhead> and that's
[01:03] <zippythepinhead> the whole
[01:03] <zippythepinhead> movie
05[01:03] <ziggy> runs up to doc brown
05[01:03] <ziggy> "wait"
05[01:03] <ziggy> "this is may 12, 1958, right?"
05[01:04] <ziggy> "earlier today you got the inspiration for a time machine, after you slipped and hit your head on a sink?"
05[01:04] <ziggy> "no ziggy, you came in here and slammed my head against the sink, ending my life's work by damaging my brain"
[01:05] <zippythepinhead> ziggy is a
[01:05] <zippythepinhead> v. cautious driver
[01:05] <zippythepinhead> so he
[01:05] <zippythepinhead> went the speed limit
[01:05] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:05] <zippythepinhead> crashed into
[01:05] <zippythepinhead> the wall
(04[01:07] * ziggy is now known as daniel)
05[01:10] <daniel> yo ziggy
05[01:10] <daniel> buys a sports almanac in the future
05[01:10] <daniel> goes back in time
05[01:10] <daniel> still bets on all the wrong horses and loses all his money
[01:10] <zippythepinhead> ziggy gets cryogenically frozen
[01:10] <zippythepinhead> (going off the
[01:10] <zippythepinhead> cooldown time thing)
[01:10] <zippythepinhead> and then
[01:10] <zippythepinhead> unthawed
[01:10] <zippythepinhead> and in the new future
[01:10] <zippythepinhead> he
[01:11] <zippythepinhead> takes a poo
[01:11] <zippythepinhead> and walks out of the bathroom
[01:11] <zippythepinhead> and asks
[01:11] <zippythepinhead> "what's with the 3 seashells?!?!?"
[01:11] <zippythepinhead> and they're like
[01:11] <zippythepinhead> "hahahhahha"
[01:11] <zippythepinhead> "you only need 2"
[01:11] <zippythepinhead> man I
[01:11] <zippythepinhead> hope I'm remembering that shit right
05[01:12] <daniel> haha i have no idea what that's re:
05[01:12] <daniel> but it's still funny
05[01:15] <daniel> hahaha
05[01:16] <daniel> yo
05[01:16] <daniel> ziggy's
05[01:16] <daniel> computer is melting in a lava vat
05[01:16] <daniel> via having to melt itself to stop
05[01:16] <daniel> skynet
05[01:16] <daniel> ziggy makes a crack about
05[01:16] <daniel> not understanding hotmail
05[01:16] <daniel> and jumps in to save it
05[01:17] <daniel> barely saving the data while
05[01:17] <daniel> coulda ended that with hotmail :\
05[01:17] <daniel> owell
05[01:18] <daniel> ziggy
05[01:18] <daniel> narrowly cheats death
05[01:18] <daniel> by having a vision of the future
05[01:18] <daniel> sees himself dying in a plane crash/car crash/train wreck/whatever
05[01:18] <daniel> so he misses it
05[01:19] <daniel> then a bunch of weird chain reactions start happening around ziggy that nearly kill him
05[01:20] <daniel> but each fail because he never leaves his house and owns no furniture or anything heavier than a bible
05[01:24] <daniel> ziggy experiences groundhog's day over and over
05[01:24] <daniel> but he never notices
05[01:33] <daniel> an alien comes to earth and meets ziggy
05[01:33] <daniel> who gives him reese's pieces
05[01:33] <daniel> but the alien's like a dog and deathly allergic to chocolate
05[01:33] <daniel> alien race sees that as an act of war and destroys the human race
[01:34] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[01:34] <zippythepinhead> travels to some
[01:34] <zippythepinhead> cave in a jungle
[01:34] <zippythepinhead> with a mexican guy
[01:34] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> swaps a
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> golden idol
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> with a
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> bag of sand
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> outruns a boulder
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> jumps over a pit
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> escapes savages
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> to the plane
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> with
[01:35] <zippythepinhead> the bag of sand
[01:37] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[01:37] <zippythepinhead> gets to the
[01:37] <zippythepinhead> holy grail
[01:37] <zippythepinhead> which is
[01:37] <zippythepinhead> being guarded by
[01:37] <zippythepinhead> an old knight
[01:37] <zippythepinhead> but
[01:37] <zippythepinhead> a nazi and
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> ziggy's old archaeologist friend who became a nazi
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> followed him
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> the
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> archaeologist
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> tries to
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> choose the grail
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> from a
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> table full of goblets
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> and picks
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> the wrong one
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> drinks from it
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> and dies
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> then
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> picks up the same goblet
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> and drinks from it
[01:38] <zippythepinhead> and dies
05[01:39] <daniel> the
05[01:39] <daniel> joker tells ziggy
05[01:39] <daniel> he's got to make a choice
05[01:39] <daniel> there's a fella and a lady
05[01:39] <daniel> at two different places with bombs
05[01:39] <daniel> he can only reach one in time
05[01:39] <daniel> ziggy runs out the door
05[01:39] <daniel> trips on the police station steps and
05[01:39] <daniel> breaks his neck + dies
[01:40] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[01:40] <zippythepinhead> gets bitten by a radioactive spider
[01:40] <zippythepinhead> and dies
[01:40] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[01:40] <zippythepinhead> finds a lamp
[01:40] <zippythepinhead> and rubs it
[01:40] <zippythepinhead> but it's
[01:40] <zippythepinhead> just a
[01:40] <zippythepinhead> normal electric lamp
[01:40] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:41] <zippythepinhead> he was just
[01:41] <zippythepinhead> rubbing it because he's
[01:41] <zippythepinhead> lonely
05[01:41] <daniel> ziggy
05[01:41] <daniel> buys a whole bunch of board games
05[01:41] <daniel> takes them home and
05[01:41] <daniel> tries to play each and every one
05[01:41] <daniel> hoping that robin williams comes out
05[01:43] <daniel> ziggy
05[01:44] <daniel> is involved in an accident with his motorcycle at the same time
05[01:44] <daniel> a rich old white man is dying
05[01:44] <daniel> they
05[01:44] <daniel> graft ziggy's head to a tree and call it a day
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> ziggy's plane crashes
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> ups packages wash ashore
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> ziggy uses a
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> skake from one of them
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> to
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> knock out one of his rotting teeth
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> and then he
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> tried to
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> hang himself from a coconut tree
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> then he
[01:45] <zippythepinhead> makes a
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> friend out of
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> a volleyball from
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> one of the packages
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> with his
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> bloody handprint on it
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> and names it
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> wilson
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> (as in tom wilson)
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> had just
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> crashed on a
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> public beach
\[01:46] <zippythepinhead> a few miles from
[01:46] <zippythepinhead> the airport
05[01:47] <daniel> gets fired for tampering with the packages imo
05[01:47] <daniel> ziggy
05[01:47] <daniel> is a retarded man who talks to strangers despite them not wanting to have a conversation
05[01:48] <daniel> hagrid visits child ziggy
05[01:48] <daniel> to tell him that he owes dumbledore millions of dollars for
05[01:49] <daniel> bumping into his limo broomstick
05[01:49] <daniel> hagrid visits child ziggy
05[01:49] <daniel> and robs him
[01:49] <zippythepinhead> 1000s of
[01:49] <zippythepinhead> letters
[01:49] <zippythepinhead> start flying through
[01:50] <zippythepinhead> ziggy's
[01:50] <zippythepinhead> fireplace
[01:50] <zippythepinhead> and he
[01:50] <zippythepinhead> gathers them up in garbage bags and
[01:50] <zippythepinhead> returns them to the post office
[01:50] <zippythepinhead> "someone must have
[01:50] <zippythepinhead> made a mistake"
[01:50] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[01:51] <zippythepinhead> sleeps under the stairs
[01:51] <zippythepinhead> (nothing else
[01:51] <zippythepinhead> to this one)
05[01:51] <daniel> hahaha
05[01:51] <daniel> ziggy fights a man with no nose
[01:51] <zippythepinhead> via
[01:51] <zippythepinhead> envy
05[01:51] <daniel> the man is a burn victim who just left the hospital and is trying to start a new life
05[01:51] <daniel> ziggy
05[01:52] <daniel> sees a wonderous world
05[01:52] <daniel> through the looking glass
05[01:52] <daniel> but gets stuck
05[01:52] <daniel> firemen have to get him free
[01:52] <zippythepinhead> ziggy follows a rabbit into a hole in the ground
05[01:53] <daniel> haha
05[01:53] <daniel> the end??
[01:53] <zippythepinhead> yes
05[01:53] <daniel> ziggy
05[01:54] <daniel> comes to life and moves when a child leaves the room
05[01:54] <daniel> and gets jealous when the kid gets a new toy
05[01:54] <daniel> until the kid realizes a man is living in his room and calls the authorities
[01:54] <zippythepinhead> the
[01:54] <zippythepinhead> soul of a
[01:54] <zippythepinhead> murderer
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> gets put in ziggy's body
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> via
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> voodoo
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> kills a bunch of people
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> keeps coming back
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> no matter
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> how many times
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> the police shoot him and whatever
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> and he is
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> infinitely more popular than
[01:55] <zippythepinhead> ziggy was
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> ziggy gets
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> swept away to the land of Oz
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> in a twister
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> god
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> I can't
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> even make a joke
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> about this
05[01:56] <daniel> hahaha yeah
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> because
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> ugh
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> was going to
[01:56] <zippythepinhead> say something about
05[01:56] <daniel> too soon
[01:57] <zippythepinhead> the wizard
[01:57] <zippythepinhead> giving him
[01:57] <zippythepinhead> the heart, courage, and brain
[01:57] <zippythepinhead> and it
[01:57] <zippythepinhead> pissing off everyone else
[01:57] <zippythepinhead> but
[01:57] <zippythepinhead> that's not
[01:57] <zippythepinhead> such a bad thing
05[01:57] <daniel> he is
05[01:57] <daniel> not ziggy anymore
05[01:57] <daniel> kinda works
05[01:57] <daniel> his
05[01:57] <daniel> home lands on the wicked witch of the north
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> SHE
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> WAS A
05[01:58] <daniel> but a cardboard box isn't enough to kill someone so no harm done
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> GOOD WITCH
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> SHE WASN'T
05[01:58] <daniel> haha
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> WICKED
05[01:58] <daniel> OH
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> (RE: GLENDA WAS THE
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> WITCH OF THE NORTH)
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> THAT
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> WORKS
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> TOO
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> THO
05[01:58] <daniel> the east?
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> HAHAHA
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> YA
05[01:58] <daniel> oicoic
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> lands in
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> munchkinland
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> and
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> no one notices that
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> anything
[01:58] <zippythepinhead> has happened
05[01:59] <daniel> ziggy's
05[01:59] <daniel> entire life is a tv show
05[01:59] <daniel> everyone he knows is an actor
05[01:59] <daniel> the show tanks after the first day of filming
[01:59] <zippythepinhead> HE
[01:59] <zippythepinhead> WAS
05[01:59] <daniel> he is an incredibly terrible baby
[01:59] <zippythepinhead> SUCH A BORING
[01:59] <zippythepinhead> NEWBORN
[02:00] <zippythepinhead> AHHAHA
05[02:00] <daniel> haha yeah
05[02:00] <daniel> he is
05[02:00] <daniel> kept in the backlot of the tv station
05[02:00] <daniel> for the rest of his life
[02:00] <zippythepinhead> it's
[02:00] <zippythepinhead> because
[02:00] <zippythepinhead> ziggy was
[02:00] <zippythepinhead> stillborn
05[02:00] <daniel> HAHAHA
05[02:00] <daniel> A FAILURE
05[02:00] <daniel> AT BEING BORN
05[02:00] <daniel> D:<
[02:00] <zippythepinhead> the
[02:00] <zippythepinhead> doctor
[02:00] <zippythepinhead> slapped him anyway
[02:00] <zippythepinhead> his mother
[02:00] <zippythepinhead> suffered from
[02:01] <zippythepinhead> postpartum joy
(I ONLY JUST NOW SAW THE POSTPARTUM PART $$$)
05[02:00] <daniel> ziggy
05[02:00] <daniel> creates a theme park
05[02:00] <daniel> for his cloned dinosaurs
05[02:01] <daniel> on opening day
05[02:01] <daniel> people realize he just
05[02:01] <daniel> drew faces on potatoes and made legs out of pencils he jammed in there
05[02:01] <daniel> and genuinely believes he
05[02:01] <daniel> cloned them
[02:01] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:02] <zippythepinhead> finds an island
[02:02] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:02] <zippythepinhead> is like
[02:02] <zippythepinhead> "oh my god! they're all clones! this is isla sorna!!!!!"
[02:02] <zippythepinhead> then he gets called a
[02:02] <zippythepinhead> baka gaijin
[02:02] <zippythepinhead> and gets
[02:02] <zippythepinhead> deported
05[02:03] <daniel> ziggys car will explode if he ever goes under 55 mph
05[02:04] <daniel> but he never will drive anywhere, so he doesn't notice
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> interviews
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> charlton heston
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> at
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> charlton heston's house
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> then he leaves
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> all sad
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> lays a picture down
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> against
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> a pillar
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> it's
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> a photo of
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> charlton heston
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> that ziggy
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> brought
[02:05] <zippythepinhead> that
[02:06] <zippythepinhead> charlton heston
[02:06] <zippythepinhead> refused to sign
[02:06] <zippythepinhead> also he wasn't really interviweing him he was
[02:06] <zippythepinhead> just doing the census
05[02:06] <daniel> ziggy is the last man alive on earth
05[02:07] <daniel> he's glad cause he can finally read his books
05[02:07] <daniel> realizes he's illiterate
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> DANIEL
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> DANIEL
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> THAT WAS
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> LIT.
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> THE FIRST NONJP ONE
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> I WAS GOING TO DO
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> LIKE
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> EXACTLY THE SAME
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> I ONLY
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> DIDN'T DO IT
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> BECAUSE
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> I MADE A
[02:07] <zippythepinhead> JOKE ABOUT THAT EP
[02:08] <zippythepinhead> TOO RECENTLY
[02:08] <zippythepinhead> AND I WAS
[02:08] <zippythepinhead> TYPING MOSTLY THE
[02:08] <zippythepinhead> SAME WORDS AND WAS LIKE
[02:08] <zippythepinhead> "D:"
[02:08] <zippythepinhead> I
[02:08] <zippythepinhead> DIDN'T do ONE
[02:08] <zippythepinhead> TODAY THO
[02:08] <zippythepinhead> THIS WAS LIKE
[02:08] <zippythepinhead> 3 DAYS AGO MAYBE?!?!?
05[02:09] <daniel> ziggy sees a gremlin on the wing of the plane and goes insane
[02:09] <zippythepinhead> hahahahha man is the
05[02:09] <daniel> stewardess tries to explain that the plane has not taken off, and that is a maintenance man
[02:09] <zippythepinhead> joke that
[02:09] <zippythepinhead> he
[02:09] <zippythepinhead> sees an actual gremlin
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> goes
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> insane too
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> even tho
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> if it's
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> a real gremlin
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> he
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> wouldn't be
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> insane
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> yo
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> he sees
05[02:10] <daniel> he loses his mind immediately
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> a real gremlin
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> but
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> goes insane
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> coincidentally
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> at the
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> same time
05[02:10] <daniel> sees a gremlin parked on the plane wing
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> and becomes
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> unable to
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> see
[02:10] <zippythepinhead> gremlins
05[02:10] <daniel> DON'T SAY GREMLIN
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> is playing
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> hamlet
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> every time he says
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> "to be or not to be"
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> a guy gets up and leaves
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> it's the same with
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> any other line
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> too
05[02:11] <daniel> ziggy's
05[02:11] <daniel> friend is in the delorean as it gets struck by lightning
05[02:11] <daniel> a guy comes up all
05[02:12] <daniel> "are you ziggy z zigginton?"
05[02:12] <daniel> ziggy says yes
05[02:12] <daniel> and the guy's all
05[02:12] <daniel> "oh man, we've been taking bets, this letter's for you, it's been waiting since the 1800s"
05[02:13] <daniel> hands it to ziggy
05[02:13] <daniel> ziggy opens it
05[02:13] <daniel> and immediately ruins it because it's fucking raining
[02:11] <howard_roark> wtf
[02:11] <howard_roark> is
[02:11] <howard_roark> a
[02:11] <howard_roark> ziggy
[02:11] <zippythepinhead> ziggy is
[02:12] <zippythepinhead> a cartoon
[02:12] <zippythepinhead> character
[02:12] <zippythepinhead> who's
[02:12] <zippythepinhead> fat
[02:12] <zippythepinhead> and has a
[02:12] <zippythepinhead> big nose
[02:13] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:13] <zippythepinhead> goes to prison
[02:13] <zippythepinhead> for life
[02:13] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:13] <zippythepinhead> slowly
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> chips a
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> hole through the wall
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> behind a
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> poster
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> via
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> years
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> when he
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> gets through
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> he
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> finds himself
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> in the
[02:14] <zippythepinhead> neighbouring cell
[02:15] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:15] <zippythepinhead> breaks into the
[02:15] <zippythepinhead> warden's room or whatever
[02:15] <zippythepinhead> locks himself in
[02:15] <zippythepinhead> turns on the
[02:15] <zippythepinhead> pa system
[02:15] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:15] <zippythepinhead> blasts
[02:15] <zippythepinhead> NPR
05[02:16] <daniel> ziggy is sent up to blow up an asteroid that's about to collide with earth
05[02:16] <daniel> he doesn't realize autopilot doesn't land the shuttle and crashes into the asteroid
[02:16] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:16] <zippythepinhead> gets released from prison
[02:16] <zippythepinhead> works at a
[02:16] <zippythepinhead> grocery store
[02:16] <zippythepinhead> hates it
[02:16] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> decides to
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> kill himself
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> but
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> before
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> he
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> hands himself from a beam
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> he
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> draw a picture of himself
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> being too embarrassed to
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> write his own name
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> writes
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> "KILROY WAS HERE"
[02:17] <zippythepinhead> *draws
05[02:18] <daniel> does ziggy even have a neck
[02:19] <zippythepinhead> don't
[02:19] <zippythepinhead> think so
[02:19] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:19] <zippythepinhead> blows up some
[02:19] <zippythepinhead> public housing with balconies
[02:19] <zippythepinhead> because
[02:19] <zippythepinhead> he left the
[02:19] <zippythepinhead> gas stove on
05[02:20] <daniel> ziggy gets a ticket to tour a chocolate factory
05[02:20] <daniel> but is turned away at the gate for being unsanitary
[02:20] <zippythepinhead> there is a
[02:20] <zippythepinhead> sword
[02:20] <zippythepinhead> in a stone
[02:20] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:20] <zippythepinhead> whoever pulls it out
[02:20] <zippythepinhead> gets to be the
[02:20] <zippythepinhead> king of england
[02:21] <zippythepinhead> ziggy only appears in the movie
[02:21] <zippythepinhead> for
[02:21] <zippythepinhead> a few seconds
[02:21] <zippythepinhead> and then it
[02:21] <zippythepinhead> becomes about the
[02:21] <zippythepinhead> guy who
[02:21] <zippythepinhead> succeessfully pulled it out
05[02:22] <daniel> ziggy finds a tape
05[02:22] <daniel> when played
05[02:22] <daniel> makes a girl come out and kill you in seven days
05[02:22] <daniel> ziggy loses the tape and
05[02:22] <daniel> eventually the video rental place gives up trying to call him about returning it
[02:24] <zippythepinhead> ziggy gets
[02:24] <zippythepinhead> attacked by a
[02:24] <zippythepinhead> facehugger
[02:24] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:24] <zippythepinhead> closes his eyes
[02:24] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:25] <zippythepinhead> lifts one leg
[02:25] <zippythepinhead> behind him
05[02:24] <daniel> OH MAN
05[02:25] <daniel> WAS GONNA MAKE AN ALIENS JOKE
05[02:25] <daniel> was just tryin to think of one
05[02:25] <daniel> ziggy is
05[02:25] <daniel> "the one" who can free us from the matrix
05[02:25] <daniel> BUT COMPUTERS ARE SO CONFUSING!!!!
05[02:26] <daniel> theres a bomb that's about to destroy a model town
05[02:27] <daniel> ziggy looks around
05[02:27] <daniel> finds a refrigerator
05[02:27] <daniel> jumps inside
05[02:27] <daniel> gets stuck
05[02:27] <daniel> dies
05[02:27] <daniel> (the bomb was also a model)
[02:27] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:28] <zippythepinhead> gets inside a refrigerator
[02:28] <zippythepinhead> and closes the door
[02:28] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:28] <zippythepinhead> eats lots of food
[02:28] <zippythepinhead> (every day)
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> ziggy's father
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> puts
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> ziggy in a
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> spaceship
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> because
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> his planet is about to explode
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> sends him off to
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> another planet
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> (bizarro world)
05[02:29] <daniel> ziggy is on the titanic
[02:29] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:30] <zippythepinhead> gets hit by the titanic
05[02:30] <daniel> he
05[02:30] <daniel> gets out with all the passengers
05[02:30] <daniel> everyone's okay
05[02:30] <daniel> then ziggy stands in the lifeboat and tips it over
05[02:31] <daniel> oh
05[02:31] <daniel> and
05[02:31] <daniel> each lifeboat is right next to each other
05[02:31] <daniel> and
05[02:31] <daniel> fall like dominoes
05[02:32] <daniel> a
05[02:32] <daniel> man wants to kill ziggy by invading his dreams and becoming his fears
05[02:32] <daniel> but ziggy has absolutely no imagination so his dreams are just him standing in a white room
[02:33] <zippythepinhead> a man wants to get ziggy to get out of the family business by invading his dreams and planting an idea in his mind
[02:33] <zippythepinhead> and he gets
[02:33] <zippythepinhead> killed by freddy krueger
05[02:34] <daniel> man
05[02:34] <daniel> want to see
05[02:34] <daniel> ocean's eleven with ziggy
05[02:34] <daniel> as a cast member
[02:34] <zippythepinhead> "ziggy, expert in roundness"
[02:35] <zippythepinhead> "he can crawl through pipes without leaving a gap"
[02:35] <zippythepinhead> "his odd form is undetectable by motion sensors"
[02:35] <zippythepinhead> "attack dogs pay no attention to him"
05[02:36] <daniel> he is so boring
05[02:36] <daniel> all security footage with him in it
05[02:36] <daniel> is ignored
[02:36] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:36] <zippythepinhead> steals
[02:36] <zippythepinhead> all of the casino's money
[02:36] <zippythepinhead> and then
[02:36] <zippythepinhead> immediately loses it all in one ridiculous blackjack game
05[02:37] <daniel> ziggy is hunted as the most dangerous game
05[02:38] <daniel> he falls down the steps and breaks his neck as he starts to run
05[02:38] <daniel> OR
05[02:38] <daniel> he is killed by tripping over a dandelion and bludgeoned with a butterfly's landing on his head
05[02:39] <daniel> ziggy
05[02:39] <daniel> gets mixed up with a fly after a teleporter accident
05[02:39] <daniel> it does not affect his life in the least
[02:39] <zippythepinhead> a professor leaves an unsolved math problem on the board
[02:39] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:39] <zippythepinhead> writes an answer
[02:39] <zippythepinhead> but
[02:39] <zippythepinhead> forgot about
[02:39] <zippythepinhead> bedmas
[02:39] <zippythepinhead> also
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> it would have been
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> wrong anyway
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> twilight zone reading thiing
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> the most dangerous game
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> the fly
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> were
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> the
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> first ones
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> I
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> was trying to
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> do
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> (during that
[02:40] <zippythepinhead> time when I
05[02:41] <daniel> >:D
[02:41] <zippythepinhead> said I couldn't think of anything)
[02:41] <zippythepinhead> re:
[02:41] <zippythepinhead> re: most dangerous game and the fly
[02:41] <zippythepinhead> I couldn't
[02:41] <zippythepinhead> figure out
[02:41] <zippythepinhead> how to do them
05[02:42] <daniel> it
05[02:42] <daniel> owns how often we
05[02:42] <daniel> think of the same things
05[02:42] <daniel> movies n such
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> sticks a videocassette
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> through a
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> slot in his
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> stomach
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> but it;s
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> just
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> the space between
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> two rolls of fat
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> so
[02:43] <zippythepinhead> nothing happens
[02:45] <zippythepinhead> ziggy wishes that
[02:45] <zippythepinhead> goblins would take his
[02:46] <zippythepinhead> baby brother away
[02:46] <zippythepinhead> but they
[02:46] <zippythepinhead> mistake him for a baby
[02:46] <zippythepinhead> and take him
05[02:46] <daniel> ziggy
05[02:46] <daniel> mistakingly thinks he sees a murder
05[02:46] <daniel> while spying on his neighbor with a telescope
05[02:47] <daniel> but it's okay cause the police won't take his calls
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> tells the police
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> that
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> a man with
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> one arm
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> killed his wife
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> but they
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> don't
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> believe
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> that ridiculous story
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> because
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> who woould
[02:47] <zippythepinhead> marry ziggy
05[02:48] <daniel> ziggy
05[02:48] <daniel> wishes he was big
05[02:48] <daniel> but his skeleton grows faster than the rest of him
[02:48] <zippythepinhead> DANIEL
[02:48] <zippythepinhead> I'VE
[02:48] <zippythepinhead> BEEN TRYING TO
[02:48] <zippythepinhead> DO THAT ONE
[02:48] <zippythepinhead> MORE THAN
[02:48] <zippythepinhead> ANY OTHER
[02:49] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:49] <zippythepinhead> wishes he were big
[02:49] <zippythepinhead> and zoltar or whatever his name is
[02:49] <zippythepinhead> prints out a paper that says
[02:49] <zippythepinhead> DOES NOT COMPUTE
[02:49] <zippythepinhead> (re: HE'S FAT!!!!)
05[02:50] <daniel> ziggy
05[02:51] <daniel> decides to bust ghosts and makes a proton pack
05[02:51] <daniel> unfortunately ghosts aren't real and
05[02:51] <daniel> ziggy vaccuums his eyeball out
05[02:51] <daniel> a man
05[02:52] <daniel> reanimates ziggy
05[02:52] <daniel> and villagers storm his castle
05[02:52] <daniel> not because he committed a crime against nature
05[02:52] <daniel> but because he brought ziggy of all people back to life
05[02:53] <daniel> the
05[02:53] <daniel> saw fella kidnaps ziggy and
05[02:53] <daniel> forces him to play games
05[02:53] <daniel> ziggy immediately wins each and every one
05[02:53] <daniel> because he is desperate for companionship and
05[02:53] <daniel> will do anything as long as it's posed as a game
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> ziggy
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> steals gollum's ring
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> puts it on
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> and
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> dies without
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> ever having taken it off
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> or noticed
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> that it
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> makes you invisible
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> also
[02:54] <zippythepinhead> he
[02:55] <zippythepinhead> dies via
[02:55] <zippythepinhead> falling in
[02:55] <zippythepinhead> mt doom
[02:55] <zippythepinhead> by accident
05[02:55] <daniel> ziggy volunteers to kill a shark
05[02:55] <daniel> plaguing a town
05[02:55] <daniel> so he sails out there and
05[02:56] <daniel> immediately falls off the boat and gets eaten by a salmon
05[02:59] <daniel> will come up with one last one real quick i think
05[03:00] <daniel> ziggy
05[03:00] <daniel> goes to the woods to film his movie about an urban legend of a witch
05[03:00] <daniel> the tapes show him mistaking a rock for food and dying after cooking and eating it
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